We wrote The Healing Marriage to share the five powerful inner healing and deliverance prayer tools that have transformed, not only our own marriage but the lives of many couples we have ministered to over the years as well.
Over the twenty-eight years that we have been married, when a disagreement or conflict has arisen between us that we have not been able to resolve easily, we have often turned to the Holy Spirit for help.
Table of contents
Marriage conflict and resolution
Many hurting couples do not know where to begin to heal their marriage, let alone put broken pieces back together! Starting with a single prayer has provided amazing results for us and those who have come to us for help! The prayer? We ask God to shine His light on the problem and bring clarity. Time and again we have been absolutely astonished at how the Holy Spirit spoke to us. He showed us the connections between what was going on between us as a couple and what needed to be changed or restored in us as individuals.
Three of the issues that have come up after that prayer have been:
- One or both of us needed to repent of a sinful attitude
- Hidden roots of hurt that needed healing
- Spiritual bondage that needed to be addressed and removed
Once we understood what we were facing and how it was affecting our marriage, we were able to choose the appropriate tools to deal with the issues effectively.
The Healing Marriage
In our book, The Healing Marriage, we show how the simple use of forgiveness, healing, and deliverance prayers can help us as couples to grow in love and unity. Having a healed marriage causes couples to experience a deeper intimacy than they have known before.
This may sound simplistic to some, but we believe that if we are willing to repent of our sometimes sinful and selfish attitudes, and are open to the work of the Holy Spirit to heal and set us free, then God can indeed transform our relationship. What can sometimes feel like a battleground can become a beautiful garden! What was dry can become an oasis where we can enjoy each other and live life to the full.
Instead of fighting and working against each other, we can learn to help and serve one another. As we seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in all areas of our lives, operating from a place of greater wholeness and stability, the Holy Spirit will show us what He wants to do in and through our lives.
Marital Baggage
Marital problems can sometimes be very complex and not easy to resolve. Both partners very often bring baggage and patterns of behavior from their respective families into the marital relationship. These are not always positive. However, the Holy Spirit can help us to identify and overcome them where they hinder our growth together. This can take time, and we need to be patient and determined to move forward.
The Gift of Marriage
We believe that God has given the gift of marriage as a place where we can experience the fullness of His plan of salvation for humanity. This plan includes not only the forgiveness of our sins, but also healing and deliverance, as the following example shows:
A young couple, we will call Clare and Kyle, loved each other but had been separated for a few months when they came to see us. They shared how they both came out of drugs and had not always been totally committed to each other. Consequently, shortly after they were married, Clare got pregnant by another man. Kyle came under great pressure from his family and friends to push for an abortion or leave. He decided to stay and raise the baby as his own.
As we talked, the Holy Spirit began to illuminate the root issues of why their marriage deteriorated. Kyle realized that he had never really grieved about the fact that the child was not his. The unresolved issues had fed insecurities about his role as a father. When the pressure inside got too much, he left. With this revelation, Clare also realized that she had never given Kyle the space to process or grieve either. As a result, she asked him for forgiveness.
In addition, Kyle shared how his parents had divorced when he was two years old. For years, his much older brother blamed him unfairly for the separation. Eventually, the pain of the constant accusation pushed Kyle into drugs and alcohol.
The results of pressing through pain and seeking God
Through seeking God, the Lord healed Kyle’s heart. We prayed for deliverance from spirits of wrong accusation and false guilt until he felt peace. Interestingly, Clare began to experience a pain in her leg. It was at this time that Claire suddenly turned on her husband and began to angrily accuse him of not taking any blame for their own recent break up.
We saw that the anger and physical pain were manifestations of a spirit of wrong blame. Clare realized that she had focused on her anger and blamed Kyle rather than considering his pain. There were other situations that came up during this process. All of the underlying unresolved issues of trauma, unforgiveness, and pain contributed to the failed marriage. As the healing took place, Claire recognized that her attitude was a good part of the reason Kyle felt he couldn’t cope at home any more and left.
Kyle and Clare were reconciled to each other as a result of using the healing and deliverance prayers to deal with the important roots of pain and disunity in their marriage. Kyle and Clare are still happily married today!
We pray that many more couples, like Clare and Kyle, will discover the simplicity and power of praying for forgiveness, healing and deliverance. Under the guidance of our beloved Holy Spirit, the ultimate Counsellor, couples learn to live in freedom and can flourish even more together.
More on The Healing Marriage
God created marriage to make us happy! Our book is a resource that will help you strengthen and grow your marriage relationship, transforming it into a healing oasis of love, peace and friendship. Discover life-changing principles and learn to use effective prayer tools to help you:
- Grow closer together and be more united
- Communicate better and spend less time arguing
- Overcome sinful attitudes and habits spoiling your love
- Heal past and present wounds holding you both back
- Recognize spiritual oppression and pray for deliverance
Couples of all ages and backgrounds, whether preparing for marriage, recently married, or married for many years will benefit from this valuable new resource suitable for individual or group study.
