Cancel Mother’s Day?

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According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, “Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia, whose mother had organized women’s groups to promote friendship and health, originated Mother’s Day. On May 12, 1907, she held a memorial service at her late mother’s church.” 

“Within five years, virtually every state was observing the day, and in 1914, U.S. Pres. Woodrow Wilson made it a national holiday.

Modern-Day Cancel Considerations

Because of the commercialization, Jarvis spent the last years of her life trying to abolish the celebration she started. Rumors smattered on the internet of disgruntled men and women desiring to cancel the day of honor are not unheard of. Like its founder, some protest the commercialization, but for the most part, many are put off because of the pain the day produces.

For some, the pain of trauma and loss makes the day a reminder of what could have been and is not.   Even so, what if healing could be so present that those who shun the day could find a way to not just cope with the celebration but use it as a day to honor God and process pain?

Reasons for Pain

First, I 100% believe in honoring and celebrating the gift of motherhood. Why not? Being a mother is a challenging and often thankless job! But not everyone celebrates Mother’s Day. It can be awkward not knowing how to respond to the pain of loved ones. Some reasons for issues for the pain could be:

  • Inability to conceive.
  • The loss of a child
  • Miscarriage and stillbirth trauma
  • The loss of one’s mother or mother-like figure
  • The trauma of having an abusive, absent, or neglectful parent
  • Bad memories from past holidays
  • Divorce
  • Disconnect with family – long distance from family

Would cutting out a day of remembrance or celebration fix any of the trauma associated with the inner wounds? If every celebration, holiday, or event that has the potential to offend or cause pain were canceled, would any be events left to celebrate?

Trials

Accessing Healing for Mother’s Day

Just cutting off Mother’s Day or ignoring the day’s purpose will not likely solve the pain. Jesus has provided a way to heal our hurts if we can give them to Him. The healing process can look different, but the outcome can be the same.

Here are three considerations to prepare for healing:

  1. God’s will is to comfort and heal. We must understand that it is not God’s will for us to have unhealed hurts. We must allow Him to heal us and permit ourselves to receive love. Scriptures on Inner Healing
  2. Receiving Comfort is a Choice. He even sent us The Comforter so we could receive true comfort.  When Jacob lost his beloved Joseph, he refused comfort and was determined to grieve until his death.  Genesis 37:35   
  3. Healing prerequisites.  Some things can hinder receiving healing and expelling the pain. It’s important to give the entire situation to God, which may include forgiving, repenting, and allowing Him to access the wounded parts of your heart.

Read the article: 5 Healing Timings

Ways to Process While Healing

You can do some things to help make the day of peace instead of pain.

  1. Plan what you will do and how you will respond ahead of time. If you know your heart can’t take seeing babies when you don’t have yours in your arms, let close loved ones know your concerns.
    1. Refuse guilt. You’re allowed to feel sad emotions. Example: If your mom is no longer alive, then communicate to loved ones what you’re thinking and give them ideas of what to do that will help you feel better.
  2. Figure out your praise. Spend time writing out a gratitude list before the day. Focus on the list from when you wake up until the end of the day. Purpose in your heart to think of what is good instead of dwelling on the things that have tormented you. Philippians 4:8
  3. Process the pain. Perhaps you can pray about ideas on how to express remembrances or trauma. Some ideas might include:
    1. Having a special candle to light in remembrance.
    1. Wear a special piece of jewelry or clothing that provides comfort.
    1. Do what you would like done for someone else. One mother who lost her only child would buy a birthday cake for another child on the day of his birth. Maybe spend extra time praying for those feeling like you feel.
    1. Donate, plant a tree, or go to a peaceful place and pray.
    1. Plan a special offering to the Lord. Sometimes, it is challenging to forgive painful events. When it is hard to forgive, how about offering forgiveness to the Lord as a gift to Him? Another idea is to read a special Bible verse and give Him extra time.
  4. Emotional Management.  You know the pain is going to come. Why not make a management plan until it is totally healed? As each painful emotion comes up, treat it like show and tell.  Show it to God and tell Him all about it. Then, hand it to Him and ask, “What would you like to do with this?”  Live out a day of healing.

Biblical Pattern of Celebration

As believers, we serve a God who tells us to honor and remember certain things. When he set up the law of Moses, he orchestrated seven feasts. You’ll find where the people both celebrated and made days of remembrance. While God didn’t tell us to have an official Mother’s Day, I can see how participating properly can bless him. However, Jesus was always nigh the broken. Therefore, being mindful of those who aren’t ready to join in on the heart of the day may be a kindness that is instrumental in healing and mending a broken heart.

Psalm 96:2 NKJV

Sing to the Lord, bless His name, and Proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day.

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